Military Talk: Feeling “Numb”

In a couple of months my love will be in the military for one year.  It seems much longer than that already. And lately, my overall mood has been low.

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When he first joined the military everything was new. Figuring out how to cope with the zero communication during boot camp was a challenge for me. Then seeing him graduate and leaving him again was another challenge. But I really think the turning point was when I got to fly out to California and spend time alone with him. I was there for 5 days and it was the happiest, most amazing 5 days I’ve had this year.

When I left California I was a mess. I cried saying goodbye to him for about 10 minutes. I just didn’t want to let him go. And now it has been about 2 months and things have not been the same. It’s like I have gotten so used to being sad about the distance that it doesn’t phase me anymore. It’s just an overall mood.

When he first moved to California in April we would Skype (and still do) every weekend. Those Skype calls would make me happy for an entire week, and I would feel ‘recharged’ in our relationship. But now it’s like I can never get enough. We will Skype and I am instantly sad when we hang up. He’ll call me throughout the week and while we’re talking I’m happy but it changes as soon as we’re done talking.

I can’t be the only one who has ever felt this way… kinda like being in a rut that you can’t get out of. All I can do is hope it gets easier with time.

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6 thoughts on “Military Talk: Feeling “Numb”

    • Yes it’s always easier said than done. I have done this to myself before, but these past couple weeks it was very hard for me to even try to convince myself it was okay and I should be happy. I think what made it worse was that we weren’t able to talk and whenever we did we weren’t ever really alone (roommate, him being out with friends, etc.) Things have gotten better this week since he has now moved to a new location and his training is much less stressful.

      I’m glad you have survived! 3,000 miles is quite the stretch! Good luck to you, especially if you’re still long distance!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I think you just need to let time run its course. While you will never be thrilled about the situation, you will become contented, it just takes time (a very long time, unfortunately)

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