Military Talk: LDR FAQs

Military Talk PINT LDR FAQLong distance relationships can be difficult and can come with a new set of challenges. Below I have listed some of the top questions I’ve had people ask me / what I wondered about before I entered an LDR.

How can you trust him when he’s across the country?

Simple. You just do it. I never had a problem with trust before he left so I don’t see why some hundreds of miles between us would change that. If you don’t 100% trust your significant other before they leave then a LDR will not work out (in my opinion.) From the beginning of our relationship we have always been so upfront with each other and jealousy has never been a problem with us. I’ve been in relationships before where I was a very jealous person, and I think it was because it was a toxic relationship. Now that I’m in a healthy and loving relationship I know what it’s like to trust someone with everything I have.

Basically, him being across the country doesn’t make any difference than when he was in the same state as me.

How do you communicate? 

Well, when he was at boot camp I sent him so many letters but now that he’s in tech school I can text him and we occasionally Skype. We’re actually Skyping right now and he’s doing homework and I’m writing this post. We don’t talk often but when we do it makes my entire day better. He has a lot of homework to do and there’s a 3 hour time difference so by the time he is done with homework it is 1 or 2 am for me. Usually what happens is I text him goodnight and then wake up to his text that said goodnight, and it ends up making my morning start off on a good note.

Before he left our texting was minimal and now that he’s in California we basically text the same amount. So I’m pretty used to talking like once throughout the day and just talking about our day then.

What is the most challenging thing about an LDR?

For me, it’s not being able to be next to him. I love being able to hug him and snuggle with him, and the fact that I can’t do that really does suck. All I want is to hug him for like 5 minutes right now. We have at least 3 more years of being long distance, so this is something that I’m going to have to figure out for myself on ways to not let this part upset me. No amount of “I wish you were here” could actually make him appear. I’ve learned that I can’t say that everyday, because I don’t want to make him feel guilty for making this choice for himself.

How are you supposed to stay happy despite the distance?

Celebrate the small things. You woke up still being with him or her, so let that put a smile on your face each morning. Throughout the day, think positively of them. If you start to feel sad you can choose to distract yourself or let them know.

A couple weeks ago, I was super super sad. I didn’t want to tell him because he was having a stressful day, and I didn’t want to add to it. I decided to try and play it cool and pretend like I was fine… but even through texts my boyfriend knows me too well. He ended up calling me and talking me through it. I wasn’t crying because I missed him or what not, I was crying because all of a sudden he’s back into my life and talking to me and it was freaking me out (I don’t know why…) I told him that for 8 weeks I had been telling myself constantly to stop texting him and that I can’t talk to him. And now all of a sudden he was back and breaking down my walls. He wouldn’t let me off the hook until I told him what was wrong and that freaked me out. I was so used to keeping my thoughts to myself for 2 months straight.

But ever since that night I think I’ve been much happier with this distance. You have to learn how to be okay with telling your partner what you need out of your relationship. You have to speak up and say what’s on your mind. This doesn’t mean that you need to be rude or start arguments, it jus means that you need to learn how to communicate effectively.

I have also started scrapbooking our trips together. This is a nice way to think about him and our happy moments spent together. This usually puts me in a better mood for the night.

 

These are just the top questions I had thought about answering. If there’s any other questions you are wondering about, please let me know and I can talk to you about it and/or add it to this blog post!

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Where to find me:

Etsy (where I post LDR cards & other artwork)

Instagram (where I post my daily hand lettering project & products of mine)

Facebook (where I post Behind-The-Scenes, etc.)

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